The Lazy Emperor Forced Wei Zhongxian to Become Zhang Juzheng

Transmigrated into the ill-fated body of the Chongzhen Emperor, I decided to slack off completely. There was no helping it—in the Ming Dynasty, the harder you tried to get things done, the sooner you died, and the more mud got slung at you. So I ruled as emperor: when matters of state arose, Eunuch Wei handled them; when beautiful women appeared, I handled them. "Eunuch Wei, I hear that eight great Shanxi merchant clans are colluding with foreign enemies—go get them!" "Eunuch Wei, the Princes of Qin, Jin, and Fu are hoarding prime farmland without paying taxes—go collect them!" "Eunuch Wei, the gentry and merchants of Jiangnan are opposing the head-tax reform and the gentry grain levy—go execute them!" "Wei Daban, I hear Jiangnan has the Eight Beauties of Qinhuai—I'm very interested. And with so many men in your Eastern Depot, you must know which minister's daughter is the prettiest, right?" … By the eighteenth year of Chongzhen's reign. Sun Chengzong: "Lord Superintendent, when will His Majesty approve my retirement request?" Wei Zhongxian: "First, call me Comrade. Second, mine hasn't been approved either, so don't even think about yours. This old servant truly wants to retire!"