The Lord Says This One Works

"Father, my wife has been acting strange lately—always muttering that someone is calling out to her." "Here. The Lord says this one works." "What is it?" "The M1911 Holy Engraved Edition. Hold it like this, aim it at your wife, and just pull this trigger." The whispers of eldritch gods are drowned out by the crisp click of a round being chambered. The roars of demon lords are silenced by the thundering salvo of naval artillery. The shrieks of unholy entities are nothing compared to the sweet hum of a laser cannon charging up. A former mercenary, reborn in another world and conscripted by a rather unorthodox "Buddha of Full-Auto Fire," now serves as a priest. His mission: to accept contracts from the very gods themselves and deliver a little taste of firepower shock to the unclean things that have long plagued the material realm. Don't worry. Here. The Lord says this one works. (Pulls out pistol / rocket launcher / sniper cannon / matrix artillery / orbital strike platform)