I Can’t Go to the CBA, So I Have No Choice but to Beat the NBA

The ultimate insult to an NBA player is to say, "He gave it his all, but his teammates are CBA-level." But what did the Chinese Basketball Association ever do to deserve this? What if someone possessed Yi Jianlian's physique, Liu Yudong's mid-range jumper, Hu Weidong's drives, Li Nan's three-pointers, and Zhu Fangyu's signature punch—just how far could they go in the NBA? Li Jiahao time-travels to become an undrafted NBA prospect who averaged a dismal 1 points and 1 rebound during his four years in college, currently being pers귭 by his agent to return home. Just as he is about to wave goodbye to his basketball career, he awakens the "CBA Jiahao System." As long as he performs embarrassing, chuunibyou-style antics on the court and collects negative emotions from opponents and spectators, he grows stronger. From that moment on, the style of the NBA changes entirely. During the Summer League, he walks onto the court carrying a black umbrella on a sunny day, declaring, "The lonely court weeps, for today it finally welcomes its Dark King!" When matched up against LeBron James, he unties his headband and ties it around his neck like a cape, shouting, "When the train is moving at full speed, even the King must step aside!" After hitting a game-winner over Kevin Durant, he sighs melancholically, "Those internet trolls blackening your name every day? They're all my burner accounts..." The opponents lose their minds, the commentators are left speechless, and the worldview of fans across America shatters completely. By the time he leaves the NBA, players throughout the entire league are weeping. "Adam Silver, do I look like an All-Star or a Hall of Famer to you?" Silver asks with tears in his eyes, "Stop joking around, my respected GOAT."