Making America: My Campaign Manager Was Roosevelt

I’m Leo Wallace, a history Ph.D. candidate drowning in $137,542.89 of student debt. At my lowest point, I got fired—not for incompetence, but for trashing a tech giant called Omni online. They “optimized” me right out of a job. I thought my life was heading for a down-and-out tragedy, until an uninvited voice took up residence in my head. He introduced himself as Franklin Roosevelt—yes, the one on the dime. “Stop ranting on the internet, kid. It won’t get you anywhere,” he said. “Want to take them down? I’ll teach you. First step: become a mayor.” And so, under his mentorship, I—a jobless keyboard warrior—set off on a surreal path from city hall to the White House. But wait, Mr. President, are you sure this “Second Bill of Rights” of ours isn’t just a blueprint for turning America into the Soviet Union?