Does Zhuang Sheng Know?

Zhuang Sheng has been dreaming of cultivating immortality ever since his college entrance exams. But one night, he realizes that the sect leader of the Joyful Union Sect in his dreams is none other than his own university counselor. My name is Zhuang Sheng. I am a liar and a scumbag—and that is precisely the prerequisite for becoming the manager of a Divine Convenience Store. Mix Jianlibao with Coca-Cola, Laoganma chili sauce, and Want Want milk in a 3:1:4:5 ratio, then chase it down with your first “pin-up meal” after 8 PM to unlock the path of cultivation. Peel the seal off the leftmost yogurt on the second shelf of the supermarket cooler, stir it seven times counterclockwise with a straw, take the first sip while standing on one foot, and you will temporarily gain an indestructible Vajra body (5 minutes). Moonwalk in a public restroom while someone else is using the stall, shout “I like to pee squatting” thirty times, and you will obtain Solomon’s Radio—an artifact that predicts disasters. Before aliens descend upon Earth, containing these glitches is the sacred duty of the Divine Store manager. “What if I told you the world ends tomorrow, and everyone will die?” “I didn’t do it—I was asleep that day,” says Zhuang Sheng. “Really.”