Until I Love Myself: The Journey of a Nonbinary Manga Artist

In this candid and courageous autobiography, nonbinary manga artist Poppy Pesuyama navigates the intersecting struggles of gender dysphoria and workplace sexual harassment. Small victories bring genuine joy, such as encountering official forms that finally include a "neither" option for gender. This optimism peaks when Pesuyama secures an assistant position working under a professional mangaka known only as X. However, the dream quickly deteriorates into a nightmare as X subjects them to months of relentless abuse, degrading them first by imposing a female identity upon them and then treating them as subhuman. Though the employment is brief, its psychological scars prove enduring. Still trapped in a body they despise and haunted by trauma inflicted seven years earlier, Pesuyama embarks on a turbulent path toward self-understanding. The lingering pain drives them to lash out at their own history, their friendships, and even their mother. This raw memoir chronicles a deeply personal reckoning, capturing the agonizing yet necessary process of confronting past horrors. Through unflinching honesty, Pesuyama fights to reconcile their true identity with the lasting damage left behind by those who sought to diminish them.